She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
