I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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