He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize