Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
