Can i not drive my cunt home
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
