whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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