Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
