were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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