***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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