DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
