Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I will be naked everywhere
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
