You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
