when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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