the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
