"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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