why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
