just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize