it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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