he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I want a musical about memes.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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