i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
