How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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