Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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