Buhtt sex?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Randomize
