I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
