I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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