Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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