I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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