Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
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