She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
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