I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
