i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
