How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
