if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
