I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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