I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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