I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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