Please, let me fuck your mom
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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