We tried having a conversation with our noses.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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