oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
