you would pick up someone in the library
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I need moral support for this bender
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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