Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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