i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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