i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
