Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize