Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
