Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
