"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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