They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
