Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
she woke up with a sticky ear
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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