So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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