It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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