For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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