Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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