My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
