living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
