I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
