Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
The struggles of a small town man whore
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
