Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
We were destined to go to rehab together
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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