It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
