i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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