thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
