just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
