chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
