Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
