Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
