worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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