i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
