i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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