If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize