non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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