Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize