Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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