I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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