so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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