She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
