how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
